fly away with me

did you lose yourself too?

poetry & photography

  • "

    1. The first time you notice him
    You throw a basketball and it accidentally hits his face

    2. The first time you see him.
    The way he brushed it off and smiled at your direction sending tsunami waves of friendliness and warmth pulling you closer to a place that felt more like a warm home in the winter of your life than a cold playground in the morning hours.

    3. The first time you touch.
    A week later he greets you in a busy hallway with a heartfelt embrace and a dreamy glance. You begin to think if this is some sick joke he’s pulling off.

    You spend the night in bed thinking about what happened.

    4. The time you ruin it.
    You wake up the next day and his scent feels like a drug and you want more and more of him but he can’t give you anything more and you crumble and shatter to a million pieces and if you go down he goes down and you throw your empty words and threats at him and you both bleed on a midnight floor.
    He falls.
    You never meant to.
    He fell.
    You fell.

    5. The time you ruin it (for real)
    You fall asleep drowning in a pillow that flows with your tears and sorrows.
    You wake up and say sorry and he says it’s okay and you know it isn’t so you cry for another night.
    Weeks later you’re given a cold shoulder and a dead glare and you’ve never been so hurt.

    You blame yourself every night and hit yourself every morning because honey you would never allow yourself to shine without him by your side.

    You still feel mountains moving through your skin.
    You still feel the weight of the world on your eyelids.
    You still feel the tearing and pulling of your thighs.
    The butterflies in your starving stomach somehow survived the stampede your mind forced on your body.

    He falls down one night and you pick up the phone and call him to check if he’s alright and you hear a haunting deathly tone in his voice and a part of you dies because you don’t have the words to make him feel any good.

    You try.
    You fail.

    You want to fix everything
    You want it all back
    You never wanted this to happen
    You fell

    And today’s his birthday and you send him a short text but your heart is spending its entire existence reading lyrics and writing poems and wishing good just for him.

    So that maybe, just maybe, your prayers may work and divert someone like you from ever crossing paths with someone like him.

    You love him.

    "
    I’m sorry I keep failing you. 27/7/2014 (via make-me-your-s)
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  • willbiernat:

    ——-

    For the past few months I’ve been writing and re-writing this post. It’s scary that this will inevitably change my life. I’ve been looking for the right way to say what I’ve been wanting to say without creating too much damage to those around me.

    The past 8 months haven’t been easy— and to…

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  • daisylongmile:

    i miss my dad. i haven’t spoken to him in a year. he left my mom and i for another woman that he had been with for a year before telling us. i stopped talking to him when i learned over facebook he was engaged. it hurts to know he’d rather be with this woman than his daughter…”

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  • "

    Don’t fall in love with me.
    There are days when I get sad without a reason and I just stare at the ceiling with tears streaming down my face.

    Don’t fall in love with me.
    On those days, I don’t talk to anyone. I just bury myself in my bed and think about how I became this mess of sadness.

    Don’t fall in love with me.
    I will become attached to you and I will cry myself to sleep if you don’t text me good night before you go to sleep and I will convince myself that it’s because you got tired of me.

    Don’t fall in love with me.
    I’m too much. I will depend on you. I need attention, much more than other people. I’ll talk to you in metaphors and make you one. I’ll write poems about you and opening up my skin at 2 A.M.

    Don’t fall in love with me.
    I couldn’t stand you coming home to find me on the bathroom floor shaking and crying, with blood spilling from my wrists. I couldn’t stand seeing the disappointment in your eyes.

    Don’t fall in love with me.
    I will pour everything I’ve left of me into you, every bit of love, until I have nothing to give. Until I become completely empty.

    Don’t fall in love with me.
    I’m scared that my sadness is contagious.

    Don’t fall in love with me.
    I will replay your sweet words in my head when I hate myself so much that I want to die. Your words will be the only thing that make stay.

    Don’t fall in love with me.
    You will live in fear. You won’t be able to leave me, because you’d know if you did, I wouldn’t have anything to live for.

    Don’t fall in love with me.
    Before I met you, there wasn’t a single person who could’ve made me stay. You’re my reason now.

    Don’t fall in love with me.
    Because I will fall in love with you.

    "
    "will you write about someone loving you but you can’t love yourself?" - requested (via marlboro-kisses)
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  • (Source: illescent, via deair)

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  • (Source: impetuousss, via patientlights)

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  • (Source: ambermozo, via deair)

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  • (Source: indigo--tears, via eatingisfab)

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  • (via frickin)

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  • (Source: stormtrooperfashion, via poetic)

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